How do you let someone know that they should make a move without giving it away? Research on singles in social settings like bars and clubs reveals surprising insights about signaling availability. From flirty glances to a one-word trick, here’s how to subtly show interest and boost your approachability.
The Science Behind Flirtation Cues
In a group of studies, they found that attractive women, the most attractive women who are rated on their attractiveness, got approached less than unattractive women. Why? It’s a phenomenon called signal amplification bias. Women and men who think they are being obvious with their flirtation cues, the other person has no idea. They even counted the number of flirtation signals. They found in 10 minutes, it took 29 signals in 10 minutes to get approached. So the other person went, “Ah, she’s interested.”
This shows that attractiveness alone isn’t enough. If you’re an attractive woman and you don’t signal enough, you won’t be approached. No, actually some unattractive women who signaled availability got approached more. Availability actually makes you more attractive.
How to Signal Availability: Key Flirty Cues
Here are the research-backed ways to show you’re interested without being too obvious:
1. Flirty Glances
Flirty glances are typically little gaze patterns is we sweep the room with our eyes, then we see someone we like, we Oh, yeah. Nice little side glance. It’s a look back up. It’s a look back up. The down and up look works really well because you’re looking up through your lashes. Every good photo of Marilyn Monroe, she has her chin tilted down and she’s looking up through her eyes. That is a look that we just like.
2. Little Smiles
Then it’s little smiles. So look and little smile. Remember it took 29 of these. So we got to get really comfortable with trying. If he doesn’t return the glance, he doesn’t return the glance, right?
3. Self-Touch
Self-touch is also considered a flirty glance. So like if I play with my hair or I play with my dress, that’s a way of signaling our hair health. Look how healthy I am. My healthy long hair. Women will also when they’re flirting, they’ll touch their neck, their lips, or their chin. This actually releases pheromones. So, when you’re self-touching like that, it’s because we’re trying to release this natural smell of like I’m going to probably click with you.
4. The One-Word Trick: “Hey”
This one is not from the research, but I’m going to really encourage you to try it. I think the best way to show availability is one word and it sounds like this. Hey. Just that. You walk to the bathroom, you walk to the bar, you walk by them. Hey. Just like that. Because look, by the way, this is for both men and women. Life is too short to not Hey.
Why Availability Trumps Attractiveness
When you think about your hair, your outfit, how you look, how you smell, all those things are great, but they will not work if you do not know the body language signals of availability. And you have to be super clear with them. Sometimes I think we use attractiveness as an excuse. I’m not pretty enough or I’m not this enough. No, actually some unattractive women who signaled availability got approached more.
Put It Into Practice
Next time you’re at a rooftop bar or club, try these cues. Sweep the room with flirty glances, offer little smiles, touch your hair or neck, and drop a casual “Hey” as you pass by. If they don’t respond, no pressure—keep practicing. Life’s too short to miss a connection!
FAQ: Signaling Availability in Social Settings
1. How do I let someone know that they should make a move without giving it away?
Use flirty glances, little smiles, and self-touch like playing with your hair or touching your neck. A casual “Hey” as you walk by also works without being too obvious.
2. Why do attractive women get approached less than unattractive women?
In the same group of studies, they found that attractive women who are rated on their attractiveness got approached less than unattractive women who didn’t signal enough. Clear body language matters more than looks.
3. How many flirtation signals do I need to send?
They found in 10 minutes, it took 29 signals in 10 minutes to get approached. So the other person went, “Ah, she’s interested.”
4. What’s the easiest way to show availability?
I think the best way to show availability is one word and it sounds like this. Hey. Just that. Say it as you walk by with a smile.
5. Why does self-touch work as a flirtation cue?
Women will also when they’re flirting, they’ll touch their neck, their lips, or their chin. This actually releases pheromones. It’s a way to release this natural smell of like I’m going to probably click with you.
Anshu Pathak is a passionate writer and avid reader whose love for stories shapes her world. With a heart full of imagination, she weaves tales that resonate with emotion and depth. When she’s not crafting her next piece, you can find her lost in the pages of a novel, exploring new worlds and perspectives. At Moodframe Space, Anshu shares her creative journey, offering insights, stories, and reflections that inspire and connect with readers everywhere.