dating mistakes

Have you ever wanted to approach an attractive woman but you had no idea what to say? Approaching someone new can be nerve-racking, especially when you don’t know how to start a conversation. In this article, we share three conversation openers that have worked for many of my website readers, so you can use them too. These simple, authentic icebreakers are perfect for casual chatting, or even one on one settings like coffee shops or parks, helping you connect confidently without feeling cheesy.

1. The Classic “Hello, How Are You Doing Today?” Opener

The first one is just hello how are you doing today? I have a lot of guys actually say this to me in places like coffee shops. Coffee shops are great because you tend to be either waiting in line to order or waiting for your beverage once you have ordered. So, it’s a really easy place to be able to just say how’s your day going? But how’s your day really going? Tell me how you really feel.

A lot of times people have to actually stop and think about that because our automatic response is to just be polite and say oh, it’s good, but if you say how’s your day really going or they might answer first and then you can say okay, but how’s your day really going. So, that’s kind of cute and if she’s having a good day then she’ll probably be more amenable to talking. If she’s not having a good day, but she’s actually got a decent personality and she wants to be cheered up then she might be okay with talking.

There’s been lots of times where I’ve maybe had a cranky day and then by conversing with somebody I’ve been able to get out of that bad mood so, really it’s that simple. One, is just hey, how’s your day going? And then when either right away or once they’ve answered say but really, how’s your day really going? And it’s kind of cute because it’s a little bit intimate and inappropriate in a way. But because you’re saying it in a kind of a cute way then you can get away with it.

Side note, don’t worry about their reaction, if they’re having a cranky day and they don’t want to be cheered up oh well, you did your best. And if they’re having a cranky life and they don’t want to cheer up then thank goodness you dodged that bullet. For more on handling social interactions, check out our guide on building confidence.

Why it works: This opener is simple, non-threatening, and invites a genuine response, making it easier to build a connection.

2. The Observational “What Are You Reading?” Approach

Here’s another one that has worked before many times, Now the reason why that works is because if someone says I think you’re a nice person so, I thought it would be safe to come over and say hi. Well, most people don’t want to be viewed as not nice so, they will at least be polite and if they’re really not interested in sharing company at that time they can say you know I just really prefer to be alone right now.

If there are any women watching this don’t be a ***, if a guy approaches to you that takes a lot of guts just be kind and just be courteous and say I just prefer to be by myself right now, but thank you for having the guts to come and say hi, I hope you have a good day. Be polite you don’t have to be a jerk about it.

Guys watching this, if you approach a girl and she is ordinary or not polite about it then like I say either she’s having a bad day or she’s having a bad life or she’s been approached way too many times. And it’s just really tired of it or she has a boyfriend or whatever, don’t take it personally maybe you know wrong time for her or it may be that she’s just the wrong person to chat with. Learn more about navigating rejection in our article on overcoming rejection.

Why it works: This approach is context-specific, feels organic, and shows genuine interest in what she’s doing.

3. The Time-Limited “I Only Have a Few Minutes” Approach

I was actually in a coffee shop and I was sitting down and a guy just came over and literally just didn’t even really ask permission to sit down. And sat down and said I really love to chat with you, I only have a few minutes because I’m meeting a friend but I saw you over here I thought you were really attractive and do you mind if I just chat with you for a little bit?

Now the reason why this could potentially work is because it’s a limited time only. She’s not going to get saddled with you for hours. You just already said that you’re going to be leaving very shortly because you’re meeting somebody else. But you also wanted to take the chance because you didn’t want to lose the opportunity to maybe strike up a conversation with someone that you’d like to get to know better.

And then you do actually have to have a short conversation and leave. Even if you don’t have anywhere to go. You pretend you have somewhere to go because that makes the look interesting because you have a life because you’re going somewhere to meet somebody and you also look very confident because you were also willing to sit down and chat with someone and go for what you might want and at least play that out.

And again, she might say no, I’m really not comfortable with that or no, I have a boyfriend or no, I’m really focusing on this. It doesn’t matter if you get the no’s. In fact the more no’s you get the happier you should be. Because the more no’s you get the closer to a yes you’re going to be. So, don’t think about it as personal rejection just think about it as practice.

Why it works: This opener shows confidence, respects her time, and reduces pressure by setting a clear time limit.

BOUNS Tips for a Successful First Date:

I’m gonna help you with some tips that you need to follow in order to have a successful date. Yes, certain things that you’re not supposed to do on your first date. Well, there are a lot of singles roaming about in the world and definitely competing for that first date. Now when you get one, what happens? Well, dating is more like a game. We all want to win that ultimate prize. Unfortunately, that’s not how the game ends. Well, there are times when there’s no spark, there’s no attraction, but there are times when you say something or do certain things that’s gonna ruin your first date. So which are these things that you need to avoid? Well, let’s have a look.

First Date Mistakes to Avoid: Don’t Talk Too Much About Yourself

Here’s the first thing that you need to avoid in your first date: you gotta avoid talking too much about yourself. So you meet the person for the first time, and you definitely want to impress her or him. And there you go, in order to impress that person, you just talk about yourself, and that too way too much. “Well, I work here, my boss is in love with me, my friends love me, I love watching movies, I love playing golf, I love doing this, I love doing that.” Okay, period. Yes, you are just talking about yourself. That’s not fair. Well, you need to create a balance between speaking about yourself and asking questions to the other person. Yes, that’s when you are going to create that spark. Well, you will get to know that person, right? So you need to ask questions to the other person, let that person talk as well. You just can’t go all about yourself. So I’m sure that would not be the end of your first date. So therefore, it’s important for you to avoid talking too much about yourself.

How to Stay Present on a First Date: Avoid Using Your Phone

Yes, what do you do? Uh-huh, sure, I can do that. Yes, right, what are you doing? Well, you need to stay off your phone when you’re on your date. Well, I’m sure you all love to text, to tweet, to post things on Facebook, to share pictures. Yes, we all do that, but you’re not gonna do that on your first date. You’re not gonna be on your phone. There’s a life outside that screen. You are with someone for the first time, so make sure that you stay off your phone. So put the phone aside and focus on your date.

First Date Etiquette: Limit Alcohol Consumption

The third thing: avoid drinking way too much. You can’t be drunk on your first date. It’s okay if you have one or two alcoholic beverages, but please not more than that. Well, if you are drunk, the room starts spinning, you end up getting into an ugly situation. Either you start talking rubbish, or you really don’t pay attention to the other person, or you are so drunk that you pass out. So what does that guy or the girl do? Carry you and take you home? That’s not fair. Well, it’s your first date, you are here to impress that person, so keep drinking to the minimum. Please don’t get drunk.

First Date Conversation Tips: Avoid Talking About Your Ex

So what’s the next thing that you need to avoid on your first date? Well, you need to avoid talking about your ex. Ha, the moment you bring in your ex in your conversation, that’s it, you are definitely not gonna have a great date because this is a sign that you are not completely over your ex, and this date of yours is merely a rebound. So avoid conversations like, “Me and my ex, we used to party so much, me and my ex, we used to love eating this.” No, you can’t do that. Avoid talking about your ex and focus on your current date, right?

What Not to Discuss on a First Date: Marriage and Kids

What’s the next thing? You need to avoid talking about marriage and kids. Well, on the first date, you’re not even sure if you would like to share your brownie with your date, forget about the future. Yeah, I mean, bringing up marriage and kids, it just seems that you’re rushing into that relationship, and you really can’t do that. That’s definitely going to be your last date. Now, if you want your first date to be successful, please do not bring in marriage or kids. It’s okay to ask general questions like talking about your family, asking about the other person’s family, or even just asking, “So, do you have any kids in your family or any cousins of yours?” Now, these are general questions, and just keep it to that. Do not bring in talking about the future, talking about marriage, or talking about having kids. Avoid that, please.

Safe First Date Topics: Steer Clear of Controversial Subjects

While you are on your first date, the next thing that you need to avoid is avoid talking about controversial topics. Yes, topics like finances, politics, religion—that’s a big no. Well, this date would turn into an argument. It’s not going to be an amazing date for you; it’s just going to be an awful date for you. While talking about finances, talking about politics, well, yes, we all have our views, but discuss it with your friends, discuss it with your families, but not on your first date. Now, general things that you can talk about or various topics that you can talk about on your first date are movies, talking about food, talking about different gadgets that you like, or the things that you really like to do in life. Yes, that’s about it. Keep it very simple. Please don’t make it ugly. So make sure you avoid controversial topics.

Building a Connection on a First Date: Avoid Sexual Topics

If you are looking for a committed relationship, what’s the next thing that you need to avoid? Well, you need to avoid getting sexually involved with your first date. Yes, you are not here to get involved sexually with that person. You don’t want your first date to end in a one-night stand, right? Well, it just shows that you are way too desperate, and you will be judged for that. That’s not fair, right? So it’s important for you to just have general conversation and do not have sexual conversations or show signs that you are sexually attracted to that person, and definitely avoid sleeping with him or her on your very first date.

Final Thoughts

They work because they’re authentic and adaptable to casual settings. Practice them, stay confident, and don’t fear rejection. Every conversation is a step toward mastering social interactions. For more confidence-building strategies, visit our confidence-building resources on Moodframe Space. Curious about the memoir mentioned? Find it here.