First Date Questions

When to Take a Break from Dating: Signs You Need a Pause

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Hi everyone, Most of the time I talk about how to get more dates, how to feel confident, and how to be your most attractive self. But I want to talk about something a little bit different. Knowing when it might actually be better to take a little bit of a break from dating. Because sometimes, no matter how much you want to meet someone, dating just doesn’t feel right. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or like you’re sort of forcing it. And that’s okay. So, if you’ve been feeling frustrated or tired of dating lately, this video is for you. I’m going to be sharing some signs that it might be time to take a pause and give yourself a little bit of space.

Sign 1: Your Life Feels Unstable or Overwhelming

The first sign here is that your life feels unstable or overwhelming. Dating isn’t just about finding the right person. It requires mental and emotional capacity to actually connect with them. If you’re in the middle of major life changes like moving cities, starting a new demanding job, ending a relationship, or dealing with family or personal challenges, your energy is likely stretched pretty thin. In this state, dating can quickly feel more like a chore than something that’s actually enjoyable. You might find yourself cancelling plans last minute, zoning out during conversations, or struggling to be consistent with someone new. When life is chaotic, boundaries tend to blur. Maybe you say yes to things that you don’t want to do or you overlook red flags just because you’re too drained to deal with conflict or disappointment. Taking a step back here isn’t failure. It’s self-awareness. It’s about giving yourself the space to get grounded, build stability, and create a secure routine before inviting someone else into your life. And when you do start dating again, you’ll be ready to show up fully. Not just trying to keep up, but genuinely ready to build something real.

“Pause to stabilize your life before diving into dating.”

Sign 2: Dating Out of Loneliness or Validation

Number two, you’re dating out of loneliness or validation. Wanting companionship is human. Nobody enjoys feeling lonely. But if your main motivation for dating is to fill a void or prove your worth, that can be a warning sign. This usually looks like settling for people that you’re not truly compatible with, tolerating disrespect or bad behavior just to avoid being alone, or feeling empty even when you’re spending time with someone. At the root here is often an overreiance on external validation. measuring your value by how many matches you get, how fast someone texts you back, or how often you receive compliments. The problem here, that kind of validation is fleeting. It can disappear in the blink of an eye overnight, leaving you feeling so much worse than you felt before. So, the key here is to shift your focus inward. Build self-worth that doesn’t depend on anybody else. Learn to genuinely enjoy your own company, pursue interests that excite you, and feel proud of who you are. So when you do start dating, it’s because you want to share your life, not fill up an empty space.

Sign 3: Repeating Unhealthy Patterns

Number three, you keep repeating the same unhealthy patterns. If you’re dating life feels like( deja vu) the strange sensation of having experienced a new situation before, even though you know it’s happening for the first time. same type of person, same red flag, same heartbreak, that’s not a coincidence, it’s a pattern. Maybe you’re drawn to emotionally unavailable people. Maybe you rush in too fast, get caught up in the excitement, and then lose interest or get hurt. Or maybe you stay in relationships that just don’t feel right because you hope that things will change. These patterns are often rooted in early experiences, fears, or ideas about love that feel familiar even if they’re not good for you. Without awareness, you recreate the same cycles again and again. It can also look like mistrust, doubting someone’s intentions before you even really know them, or questioning your own judgment so much that you just cannot relax and enjoy a connection with someone. Taking a little dating break gives you the space to slow down, reflect on your habits, and start healing old wounds or limiting beliefs. When you return to dating, you’ll do so with clarity and self-respect, ready to choose partners who truly align with what you want, not just repeating unhealthy patterns.

“Break the cycle by reflecting on unhealthy dating patterns.”

Sign 4: Dating Feels Like a Chore or You’re Burnt Out

Number four, dating feels like a chore or you’re burnt out. If you find yourself swiping endlessly without excitement, going on dates just to check the box, or feeling emotionally drained by the whole process, chances are you might be burned out. Dating should be fun, even if it’s a little bit nerve-wracking. If it feels like a job that you dread, that’s not sustainable. Burnout makes you impatient, cynical, and more likely to write people off unfairly. Also, check in with yourself. Are you saying yes to things that don’t feel right just to keep someone interested? Are you losing sight of what you want? Taking a break here can help you reset your energy, reconnect with your priorities, and rediscover why dating can actually be enjoyable.

Sign 5: Struggling with Mental or Emotional Health

Number five, you’re struggling with your mental or emotional health. When you’re anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained, dating can feel like an impossible extra weight on your shoulders. It’s also common to expect a partner to fix your mental health, which often sets relationships up for complete failure. Sometimes dating becomes a way to avoid deeper personal issues like dissatisfaction with your job, family conflict, or just a lack of direction or purpose in your life. If you feel like you’re chasing dates but still feel empty, or unhappy inside, that is a big red flag. Focusing on your mental and emotional health first, whether that’s through therapy, lifestyle changes, self-care, like fitness, is the strongest foundation you can build before dating seriously.

Sign 6: Carrying Bitterness or Healing from Past Experiences

Number six, you’re carrying bitterness or still healing from past experiences. Holding on to bitterness, resentment, or unresolved emotions from past relationships or even from earlier experiences like rejection, friendships, family dynamics, can completely block you from being open to new connections. This kind of emotional baggage, whether it’s anger, mistrust, hurt, will create walls that keep other people out, sometimes without you even realizing it. When bitterness takes root, it can make you overly critical, cynical, or emotionally distant. Pushing people away and trapping you in negative cycles. At the same time, carrying these feelings often means that you’re still healing. Maybe you keep thinking about an ex, feel tied to the past, or have fears around intimacy that make dating feel scary or triggering. It’s normal and healthy to feel hurt, frustrated, or confused. What matters the most is giving yourself permission to feel those emotions fully and then work through them at your own pace. Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s not a one-size-fits-all, and you don’t have to be over it perfectly before dating again. Taking some time away from dating will let you process these feelings, work toward forgiveness for yourself and other people, and clear space to approach future relationships with a fresh, hopeful perspective. This way, when you’re ready to date again, you can show up as your true whole self, open, healed, and ready for something real without that bitterness that is dragging you down.

“Heal past wounds to embrace new connections with hope.”

FAQ: Long-Tail Questions About Taking a Break from Dating

When is the right time to take a break from online dating?

If you find yourself swiping endlessly without excitement, going on dates just to check the box, or feeling emotionally drained by the whole process, chances are you might be burned out.

How do I know if I’m dating out of loneliness?

This usually looks like settling for people that you’re not truly compatible with, tolerating disrespect or bad behavior just to avoid being alone, or feeling empty even when you’re spending time with someone.

What are signs of unhealthy dating patterns to watch for?

If you’re dating life feels like deja vu, same type of person, same red flag, same heartbreak, that’s not a coincidence, it’s a pattern.

How does mental health affect dating decisions?

When you’re anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained, dating can feel like an impossible extra weight on your shoulders.

Why should I focus on healing before dating again?

Taking some time away from dating will let you process these feelings, work toward forgiveness for yourself and other people, and clear space to approach future relationships with a fresh, hopeful perspective.

How can I rebuild confidence before returning to dating?

Learn to genuinely enjoy your own company, pursue interests that excite you, and feel proud of who you are.

What does dating burnout feel like?

Burnout makes you impatient, cynical, and more likely to write people off unfairly.

How do past relationships impact new dating experiences?

Holding on to bitterness, resentment, or unresolved emotions from past relationships or even from earlier experiences like rejection, friendships, family dynamics, can completely block you from being open to new connections.

6 Physical Traits That Make You Irresistible to Women

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Physical attraction plays a big role in initial impressions, and there are things you can do to become more physically attractive to women. In this article, I’m going over six physical traits that make you more physically irresistible to women, using the exact words from my recent video. These are actionable tips you can start working on, regardless of the genetic cards you’ve been dealt. Let’s get started!

1. Being in Shape

So getting started with the physical traits that make you more attractive and irresistible to women number one we have being in shape so this one is kind of a no-brainer i try to tell you guys all the time how important it is to take care of your body eat good food go to the gym you don’t need to look like you’re about to compete in a bodybuilding competition or about to walk on the stage for a show but i do think it’s important to take good care of your body and be physically fit so i’m not saying that you need to be chiseled or have abs like a greek god but you need to be at least working out and going to the gym and trying to be in good shape.

  • Why It Matters: I was actually taking a look at a couple different studies and chest and arms ranked the highest in every single study that was done of importance to women i think it’s because it makes you feel safe and secure around someone who is just naturally bigger than you for the most part.
  • How to Do It:
    • Go to the gym regularly and focus on exercises for chest and arms.
    • Eat good food to support your fitness goals.
    • Stay consistent with working out to show you’re trying to be in good shape.

2. Facial Hair

Next on my list number two is facial hair so if you haven’t seen it already i did an entire video asking girls to react to different facial hair styles and all of them mostly preferred a guy with a little bit of facial hair over someone who you know had a really long beard or someone who was just straight up clean shaven i think the five o’clock shadow and a little bit of stubble going on is what girls normally like the most facial hair in general can just make you look a little bit more mature and distinguished and it gives off a very masculine vibe which i think is why girls like it so much.

  • Why It Matters: The five o’clock shadow and the stubble is my personal favorite so i can see why other girls like it as well i will also say a little bit of stubble or the five o’clock shadow is the perfect option for you guys that maybe can’t grow facial hair that well because it’s pretty close to the skin and doesn’t require a lot of growth.
  • How to Do It:
    • Keep facial hair trimmed to a five o’clock shadow or light stubble.
    • Use a trimmer to maintain a tidy appearance.
    • Moisturize the skin beneath to keep it healthy.

3. Dressing Well

Number three on my list is dressing well so putting your best foot forward showing up for yourself and dressing very nice just shows that you value yourself and you’re putting in the effort dressing well can also make you appear like you have your life together a little bit which let’s be honest girls like.

  • Why It Matters: I also want to be really honest here and say that for a lot of women especially modern women not sure if you want to attract these type of girls but wealth success and status are very big initial attractors for these types of women so if you’re someone that is looking for a hookup or you’re someone that’s just looking to date around these are going to be things that you’re really going to want to pay attention to because this is what is going to get these girls attention.
  • How to Do It:
    • Choose clothes that show you’re putting in the effort and value yourself.
    • Dress like the best version of yourself, not someone you’re not.
    • Keep outfits clean and well-fitted to make a good first impression.

4. Nice Hair

Number four nice hair so this one’s a little bit tricky because i know this is an area where it’s kind of out of your control to a certain extent but i think there are things that you can do to make your hairstyle look better on you picking a hairstyle that works well with your face shape your bone structure the thickness of your hair if you’re someone with very thin hair growing it out is probably not the best option for you and you’d want to keep it a little bit shorter to make it look more full.

  • Why It Matters: I was also reading this thing online that was very interesting and it was about how girls typically prefer someone with darker hair and then it made me think about all the people i’ve ever dated in the past and every single one of them has dark hair and i don’t know if that’s a coincidence or if it’s a little ironic but i was sitting there like oh my gosh wow this study is 100 accurate for me which is just interesting to think about so if you have dark hair you’re a step above the rest i guess.
  • How to Do It:
    • Pick a hairstyle that suits your face shape and hair thickness.
    • Keep hair clean, healthy, and trimmed regularly.
    • If you’re bald, rock a close crop or clean shave with confidence.

5. Taller Than Her

Number five is a little bit of a bummer and some of you guys are going to be upset and i get it but it’s you’re taller than her and i know this one is totally out of our control we cannot really control how tall we are.

  • Why It Matters: Most women not all women i know some women that are dating guys that are shorter than them are married to guys that are shorter than them and they don’t care at all because the guy has confidence and at the end of the day that overrules everything else in my opinion but i think most girls me included are attracted to guys that are taller than them at least.
  • How to Do It:
    • Stand tall with good posture to maximize your presence.
    • Focus on other traits like fitness and grooming to boost appeal.
    • Be confident—girls who like you won’t care as much about height.

6. Good Grooming Habits

Number six and last on my list is good grooming habits and the reason why this stands out so much nowadays is because there’s so many guys that are simply not doing these things and as you guys know it’s all about the details and sometimes the little things make the biggest difference and often girls notice details and the little things a lot more than guys do.

  • Why It Matters: Having a skincare routine is a big one using sunscreen is a good one protecting the wrinkles and age spots just really taking care of your face and the skin on your body as well i see so many guys who have dry flaky skin or who are not using moisturizer and a lot of it could just be solved with a nice skincare routine so there’s no excuse here guys.
  • How to Do It:
    • Use a skincare routine with cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen.
    • Keep nails trimmed, hands clean, and facial hair tidy.
    • Brush twice daily, floss, and use whitening toothpaste for a nice white smile.

Looks Aren’t Everything

I also wanted to reiterate that looks are not everything and physical attraction alone is not enough to sustain a relationship physical attraction should not be the sole focus in building a connection or intimacy with a person but i do think it does play a big role in initial attraction. All right guys that is all i have for six physical traits that make you irresistible to women of course like i said there’s so much more to being attracted to someone than just the physical aspects but i think for initial attraction for getting someone’s attention for just being physically attractive these things all play a big role.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. Do looks matter more than personality for attracting women?

For me to sit here and say that looks don’t matter would be me lying to you i also wanted to reiterate that looks are not everything and physical attraction alone is not enough to sustain a relationship physical attraction should not be the sole focus in building a connection or intimacy with a person but i do think it does play a big role in initial attraction.

2. Can I be attractive if I’m not tall?

I know this one is totally out of our control we cannot really control how tall we are. Most women not all women i know some women that are dating guys that are shorter than them are married to guys that are shorter than them and they don’t care at all because the guy has confidence and at the end of the day that overrules everything else in my opinion.

3. What’s the best facial hair style for attracting women?

I think the five o’clock shadow and a little bit of stubble going on is what girls normally like the most facial hair in general can just make you look a little bit more mature and distinguished and it gives off a very masculine vibe which i think is why girls like it so much.

4. How do I dress well without changing who I am?

I don’t want you guys to be you know trying to be someone that you’re not or dressing like a totally different person in order to attract a certain type of girl your true colors are always going to come out eventually and you should want to be with someone that wants to be with the real you i’m just saying dressed as the best version of yourself and show that you put in a little bit of effort.

5. Why does a skincare routine matter for attraction?

Having a skincare routine is a big one using sunscreen is a good one protecting the wrinkles and age spots just really taking care of your face and the skin on your body as well i see so many guys who have dry flaky skin or who are not using moisturizer and a lot of it could just be solved with a nice skincare routine so there’s no excuse here guys.

6. Why is a nice smile important for attraction?

I have to say this white teeth and taking care of your teeth and having a nice white smile is going to look better just initial attraction right off the bat than someone who has dark yellow teeth okay if you’re a smoker that has dark yellow teeth your breath stinks your smile is not going to be as attractive as someone who doesn’t smoke takes care of his teeth and maybe whitens them.

There are some things that you can do regardless of the cards that you’ve been given that will make you more physically attractive there’s things that are easy to change it might take a little bit more work to change on some of these but they’re definitely doable and there’s no excuse as to why you aren’t getting the results that you want if you do these things. Start today, be yourself, and let these traits help you make a great first impression!

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5 Clear Signs She’s Playing You: Avoid Wasting Your Time in 2025

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Namaskar, I want to help you avoid wasting your time this year. In today’s video, we’re breaking down five clear signs that a girl might be playing you. And by that, I mean playing games, being non-committal, or not genuinely liking you but refusing to be upfront about it. These behaviors can quickly drain your energy and effort, leaving you stuck in a one-sided situation, which I do not want for any of you. Hopefully, this helps you spot the red flags early and focus on people who truly value your time and attention.

1. She Overemphasizes Independence to Avoid Closeness

What does it mean when a girl constantly says she’s independent?
The first sign is she overemphasizes independence to avoid closeness. Now, while independence is a great quality, there’s a difference between being self-sufficient and also using independence as a shield. If she constantly emphasizes how much she values being on her own or says things like, “I don’t need anyone, I don’t want anyone,” it could be a way to create emotional distance between you. This behavior might mean she’s not ready for a real connection but still maybe enjoys the attention and benefits of having you around. It could be her way of keeping you at an arm’s length without actually committing.

Another layer of this could be if she keeps the relationship very surface level. She might flirt, enjoy your compliments, or seek validation from you, but when it comes to deeper conversations or emotional vulnerability, she might shut down or completely avoid it altogether. True relationships require emotional intimacy, sharing feelings, being vulnerable, and building trust. So, if she’s avoiding this and only engaging on a superficial level, I think it’s a clear sign that she’s not serious about building something meaningful with you.

What to Do:
If she’s avoiding emotional intimacy, have an honest conversation about your expectations. If she continues to keep things surface-level, redirect your energy to someone ready for a genuine connection.

2. Her Communication Is Inconsistent

Why does she text me one day and go silent the next?
The next one here is her communication is inconsistent. Inconsistent communication is a classic sign that she’s just playing games. One day she’s blowing up your phone with texts, responding immediately and making you feel like a priority, and then out of nowhere, she goes silent for days or gives you one-word responses, leaving you incredibly confused or second-guessing yourself. This hot and cold behavior keeps you hooked while she maintains control of the situation.

Again, I want to emphasize that this is not always malicious, but I think it’s worth paying attention to. So, pay attention to when she reaches out. Is it when she’s bored or needs a confidence boost? Genuine interest comes with consistent communication, not sporadic attention when it’s convenient for her. A girl who truly likes you will maintain regular contact and won’t leave you guessing about where you stand. We don’t have time for games in 2025. It is time to only give our effort to people who demonstrate emotional availability and maturity and reciprocate those efforts.

What to Do:
Look for consistent communication as a sign of genuine interest. If her responses are sporadic and leave you confused, consider whether she’s truly invested. Focus on those who value your time.

3. She Avoids Making Plans or Cancels Last Minute

What does it mean if she’s always too busy or cancels plans?
The next sign is she avoids making plans or cancels last minute. If she’s constantly too busy or canceling plans at the last minute with weak excuses, it’s a clear sign that she is not prioritizing you. While life can get hectic, and we can give a little bit of grace for that, someone who is genuinely interested in you will make an effort to see you. They’ll reschedule plans that they had to cancel and communicate openly about their availability.

Another related behavior here is being very vague about making plans in the first place. So, if she gives you non-committal answers like, “Maybe I’ll be free this weekend,” or “Let me see how my week looks, let me see if these other plans fall through,” without locking anything in, it’s a sign that she’s likely keeping her options open. Someone who values your time will be straightforward and enthusiastic about planning time together. Actions always speak louder than words, and if her behavior consistently shows that she’s dodging plans, it’s time to reevaluate whether she’s really interested or just sort of stringing you along.

What to Do:
Prioritize people who are enthusiastic about spending time with you. If she consistently avoids or cancels plans, it’s a sign to reassess her interest and focus on those who respect your time.

4. She Keeps Things Vague About the Relationship

Why won’t she define the relationship or clarify her intentions?
The next sign is that she keeps things vague about the relationship. If she avoids defining the relationship or giving you clarity about her intentions, I think it’s a strong indicator that she’s not fully invested. You might hear phrases like, “Let’s just see where this goes,” or “I’m not ready for anything serious right now,” or, going back to point one, maybe, you know, valuing her independence and saying things about that. Yet, she still enjoys your company, your time, and your effort.

While some people genuinely need time to figure out their feelings, and I can completely understand that, I think a prolonged vagueness can indicate that she’s keeping you in this sort of limbo for her own convenience, maybe to keep her options open or to enjoy the perks of your time, effort, and energy without actually committing to you. I think another subtle red flag that kind of goes with this one is being over-complimentary without any sort of follow-through. So, if she’s constantly telling you, “You’re such an amazing guy,” or “You’d make a great boyfriend,” but doesn’t take any action to spend time with you or deepen the connection between the two of you, she might just be keeping you hooked without the true commitment. Compliments without actions that match her words can be a way to keep you invested while she figures out her next move or, again, keeps her options open.

What to Do:
Address the vagueness directly by discussing your intentions. If she continues to avoid commitment or offers empty compliments, consider moving on to someone who’s clear about their interest.

5. Her Contact with You Is Transactional

Why does she only contact me when she needs something?
The next sign here is that her contact with you is transactional. If she only reaches out when she needs something, this is a huge red flag. Whether it’s help with a problem, a favor, or someone just to vent to, this behavior shows that she sees you as a convenience rather than a romantic interest. Relationships should feel mutual, with both people giving and receiving support, not just one person constantly taking while the other person gives. This is what we call a one-sided relationship, which, again, I do not want any of you to find yourself in.

Another related point here is if she never initiates conversations, plans, or check-ins with you. While relationships don’t have to be perfectly 50/50 all the time, I think someone who is genuinely interested will make an effort to simply connect with you, not just when they need or want something. If you are always the one keeping the relationship afloat, it is time to take a step back and question whether her interest is real or purely self-serving.

What to Do:
Evaluate whether the relationship feels mutual. If you’re always initiating or giving without reciprocation, step back and focus on connections where both parties invest effort.

How to Protect Your Time and Energy in Relationships

What should I do if I notice these signs in a relationship?
I think if you’re noticing any of the signs that I mentioned in my video today, it’s important to take a step back and really evaluate whether or not this person truly values your time and your energy. Healthy relationships should be built on mutual respect for each other, effort being put in, and emotional connection, not confusion, frustration, or one-sided effort. If you’re noticing these behaviors, don’t be afraid to step away and focus on finding someone who truly values your time and commitment. The reality is, people can only play you if you let them, so don’t let them.

Action Steps:

  1. Communicate Clearly: Have an open conversation about your expectations and observe her response.
  2. Set Boundaries: Protect your energy by not investing in one-sided dynamics.
  3. Prioritize Mutual Connections: Seek relationships with people who show consistent effort and emotional availability.
  4. Move On if Needed: Don’t hesitate to walk away from relationships that leave you confused or undervalued.

I love connecting with all of you guys over there a little bit more one-on-one as well. Let me know down in the comments: Have you ever experienced anything I mentioned today? Is there anything else you’ve experienced that was a sign to you that someone wasn’t serious about you or they were playing you, as the video states? I would love to hear from you guys down in the comments and share your experiences and stories to hopefully help out some other guys as well. As always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time.

Healing After a Breakup: Genz Problems and Solutions

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Healing After a Breakup: Genz Problems and Solutions

Namaskar, I wanted to write this article since, a lot of my clients, and most of them are very young,, are coming into therapy specifically because they’re trying to process life after a relationship that they thought was going to make it all the way to the end, or even if they knew it wasn’t, they might even feel guilty or shameful about how long they stayed in a dead-end relationship. And what we find at the end of a relationship sometimes is somewhat of an identity crisis. So much of who we are can be created or cultivated by who we spend a lot of our time with, and when we’re no longer serving those people and they’re no longer serving us, it can be really difficult to move on to the next chapter of our lives. So today, I want to give you some practical tips, things that you can try, things that have been helpful for my clients and my friends that you might be able to utilize to help you move on and get to a phase in your life where you have processed emotionally this past relationship.

Top Tips for Healing After a Breakup

1. Identify Your Triggers and Create a Plan

First tip is identifying your triggers and creating a plan to navigate them and reintroduce them into your life. So when we’re talking about a breakup, we’re talking about specific triggers that might prompt memories of that relationship, whether they are good or bad memories. So maybe there’s a song you guys used to love to listen to together, maybe there are shows you used to watch together, maybe there’s a certain street that you used to always take a walk down, and now you avoid these places because they remind you of the person that you loved in the relationship that you saw going however far that you envisioned it going. And when you’re in that place, you start limiting your own life experiences. You know, all of a sudden, you don’t watch the show you used to watch. I’ve seen it to an extreme where I have clients who can’t even use certain streaming platforms because it reminds them of being in that relationship. Certain songs turn into a certain album, turn into the entire artist—you won’t listen to that artist anymore. And what happens? We just see these small triggers really manifesting into much larger triggers that are extremely inconvenient to navigate.

  • How to Start: So if you can identify the things that you are avoiding after this relationship and start working with your therapist, with your friends, or on your own on developing a plan for reintroducing those things into your life. You know, if we were to stick with that song example, maybe the first thing you do is listen to some songs by that artist, maybe something recent that came out well after you guys were even together, for example. Then you can maybe go back to that album, and then you can maybe allow yourself the opportunity to listen to those songs that are particularly prompting you to feel sad, to feel anxious, to feel hopeless, and you reintegrate those things back into your life.
  • Why It’s Not Easy: And it won’t be easy. You want to make sure you’re doing it at a time where you can really process what’s happening. It’s okay if you’re sitting in your car, you got a box of Kleenex, you know you’re gonna cry—that is okay. Work with yourself and allow yourself the opportunity to fully process what this prompt or trigger means to you at this point in your life.

2. Be Honest About Your Contribution

Here’s a big one, and this is my biggest focus with my clients: Be honest with yourself about your contribution to the downfall of that relationship. What I hear more often is people giving me a laundry list of reasons why their ex never deserves them, why they’ve got to start asserting their worth, and you know, those things are important, right? We need to know what our standards are and be sure to uphold them and enforce boundaries when needed. But what I really rarely hear in those initial conversations is a sense of accountability, and it can’t just be, “Oh, I picked the wrong people.” I’m sure that is a factor, right? But if you keep doing that, let’s get more specific.

  • Key Questions: Why are you attracted to people that make you feel a certain way? What have you witnessed or experienced earlier on, prior to this relationship, that supported that choice? What do you do that keeps those behaviors going, right? Are you not good at vocalizing when something makes you uncomfortable, for example? Or are you short-tempered and you yell, and they yell, and the next thing you know, it’s becoming physical?
  • Action Plan: Be very, very honest with yourself because this is the only way that we can put some sort of plan in place to prevent this from happening in the future. If we recognize that maybe you have poor emotional regulation skills, for example, then we can start talking about coping skills to help you calm down when you feel triggered. That could help de-escalate your arguments with partners in the future.
  • Why It Works: This is what we have to be focused on because there’s absolutely nothing you can do about that ex. We cannot change how that ex treats people. We cannot change how that ex treated you. But what we can do is focus on what you have control and influence over and assure that we use that to the best of our ability going forward in your other relationships.

3. Delete Pictures and Digital Memories

And the next one, brace yourself, because not everyone’s going to agree with this, but I do find value with my clients who have a particular fascination or obsession with the previous relationship, like it is impacting your friendships, impacting your family relationships, impacting your work relationships because you feel that impacted by what happened in the past. I would challenge you to go through and delete some of the pictures that you all have together.

  • Why It’s Hard: Why? Because when we get to this point in the exercise with helping a client heal from a breakup, this is where I actually get the most resistance. I could hear for months from a client—some clients, years—about how awful this person was, how bad that time in their life was, and then I say, “Well, let’s go through some of these pictures and get rid of them, make room for your new life,” because I’ll have clients who don’t want to get on certain apps because, you know, they have their ex’s number, and that person’s gonna be suggested to them, for example. And so, they are constantly avoiding reminders of that relationship. So I say, okay, let’s go through some of these pictures, let’s delete some of these memories and make room for your new life. And what typically happens is that person eventually has to admit they don’t really want to let that person go. They don’t really want to let that relationship go. That focusing on that time in their life is part of what’s been giving their life now meaning, even if it’s anger. They are using that anger as a source of their identity. They’re using the bitterness and jadedness as a source of their identity. They’re using it as a reason to keep people away, for example.
  • Why It Works: And so, this exercise, if you’re struggling with the idea of deleting pictures or, you know, at least moving them to a folder that you don’t have easy access to, that might be an indication that you’re still holding on to that relationship, and even more reason to get some professional support to help you understand more about why.

4. Write a Goodbye Letter

Write them a goodbye letter. Maybe the relationship ended on terms that you’re not necessarily happy about or comfortable with or sure about. You just feel something unfinished. Maybe you never said what you needed to say to them.

  • How to Do It: Writing them a goodbye letter—and now, whether you actually mail this out or throw it away or burn it or keep it doesn’t matter—but the important thing is the catharsis of getting your thoughts and emotions out, allowing yourself the opportunity to cry and make connections and maybe listen to a song that reminds you of them, whatever it takes for you to be able to release those feelings, those stressors, those fears.
  • Why It Works: And it’s not gonna just fix it, but it will help you at least make sense or put words around what you’re experiencing because I believe that with language, there’s power. If we have the language to articulate something, then we are one step closer to finding a solution.

5. Write a Hello Letter to Yourself

Relatedly, write a hello letter to yourself, to your new self, the person you want to be. Start exploring what you want your life to look like now.

  • How to Start: Okay, if we are so hyper-focused on the past, how can we ever set ourselves up in the present for the future? So start allowing yourself to dream again. My clients sometimes find themselves in a depression after a breakup because they just don’t know who they are without that relationship. You know, maybe they were preparing themselves to be a spouse, maybe they were envisioning children, maybe they have children with this person, and now they’re like, “I don’t know how to be a single parent,” for example. And these things are very real experiences, very valid feelings, but I don’t want you to feel stuck there.
  • Action Plan: So the only way we can start making some sort of progress is for us to have some sort of finish line in mind. So maybe you always wanted to go back to school, or maybe you wanted to pick up the guitar, or maybe you always wanted to redecorate this room that reminds you so much of them. Start allowing yourself the opportunity to be inspired again, to envision a life that maybe wasn’t even possible.

To earn a woman’s respect, focus on being the version of yourself that leads with clarity, calm, and quiet strength. That’s what we notice, and that’s what we remember.

Must Read First Date Question | Conversation Starters | Love Bombing and More about Relationship – Follow me on INSTAGRAM and X (Twitter)

Stop Doing These 9 Things Around Hot Women – Save Your Gen Z Dating Life!

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How to Connect with Beautiful Women: Avoid These Common Mistakes for Gen Z

Namaskar, Navigating attraction can be challenging, especially for Gen Z in today’s dating world. Attraction can mess with your head a little bit. Even the most confident guys can start behaving differently the second that they’re talking to someone that they find incredibly attractive. To help you build genuine connections, here’s a breakdown of common mistakes men make when interacting with beautiful women and how to avoid them for authentic, confident interactions.

Avoid Idealizing Her

A lot of men treat beautiful women as if they’re in some different category of human being, like they’re superior, flawless, or too good to be spoken to normally. You might not realize that you’re doing it, but it’s going to show up in very subtle ways. One being you overagree with every single thing that she says, even if you don’t actually agree or feel that way. Two, you become overly accommodating, trying to make sure that she’s never even slightly uncomfortable. Number three, you start performing, saying things just to impress her rather than just simply being yourself. All of these create a dynamic where she is the prize and you’re just trying to be chosen. This screams low confidence, desperation, and signals that you do not see your own value, which is a huge issue. And a lot of beautiful women are used to this kind of treatment. They don’t need another guy bowing down to them. They’re more intrigued by someone who treats them just like a normal person. So instead of idolizing her and putting her up on this imaginary pedestal that you’ve created in your head, just interact with her. Be respectful, yes, of course, but also stay grounded in who you are and the value that you also bring to the equation.

Don’t Fear Disagreement

Many guys walk on eggshells around women that they think are beautiful. They avoid any sort of disagreement or playful teasing because they’re afraid that it’s going to totally ruin their chances when in reality, it’s the opposite. No one wants to feel like they’re talking to a robot who disagrees with everything that they say unless they have serious ego problems. And beautiful women especially are used to people constantly tiptoeing around them. When a guy respectfully challenges her or simply just has his own opinions and isn’t afraid to voice them, it’s going to stand out. It shows confidence, authenticity, and most importantly, a backbone. You’re not being mean or confrontational. You’re showing that you’re not afraid to speak your mind, and that is attractive.

Steer Clear of Insecurity

When a guy feels like he’s not good enough for a beautiful woman, he often overcompensates. That might look like bragging about money, status, success, named dropping, or trying to seem connected, constantly fishing for compliments or reassurance. This doesn’t come across as confidence. It comes across as insecurity, and it makes the interaction feel so much more like a performance or a sales pitch than a genuine connection. Beautiful women have a radar for this kind of behavior because they’re experiencing it all the time. They meet a lot of guys who try to sell themselves instead of just being themselves. Real confidence is quiet. It’s in how you carry yourself, how you speak, and how you make her feel, not in how impressive your stats are.

Take Initiative, Don’t Freeze

Sometimes men get so nervous around a beautiful woman that they totally freeze up. They wait for her to lead the conversation, give all the signals, or basically make all of the moves. And while being respectful is important, there’s a difference between being respectful and being passive. This puts all the pressure on her to carry the interaction, and often it just feels kind of awkward. Women want to feel like they can relax in your presence, not like they have to run the whole show. Leadership and decisiveness are incredibly attractive traits in a man. That doesn’t mean being pushy. It just means having the confidence to guide the conversation, suggest the next move, or show that genuine interest without hesitation.

Be Your Authentic Self

I think a lot of men start changing their behavior, their opinions, even their sense of humor sometimes just to align with what they think that this woman wants. You’re basically acting out a character that you assume will be more appealing. It’s totally inauthentic and it’s really easy to feel, especially for a woman who’s used to people totally changing around her. But the truth is, what is most attractive is a guy who knows who he is and isn’t afraid to show it. That kind of self-assurance is so rare. And I think it’s important to remember that if she doesn’t vibe with the real you, that’s okay. Faking it is never going to lead to a lasting connection anyway.

Use Subtle Physical Cues

In today’s world, a lot of guys go to the extreme end of caution, which I can understand. They avoid any sort of physical interaction out of fear of coming across the wrong way, which again, totally get it. And while good intentions are great, zero physical cues can kind of send the wrong message. If there’s no physical signals that you’re sending, no gentle touch on the arm, no confident body language, it can feel like you’re just trying to be her friend. Touch doesn’t have to be inappropriate to be effective. a warm handshake, a playful nudge, a quick touch on the back as you lead her through a crowd. Again, not if she’s a stranger, but if you know her, if you have built rapport with her, if you’re on date number two, three, you’ve gotten to know this girl. I think these are really important things to remember. I’m not telling you to go touch a stranger. Okay? Want to make that very clear. I have been out and about before and had men touch me on the small of my back that I don’t even know, that I’ve never spoken to. And I don’t like that personally. Um, maybe some women do, but I think it’s incredibly inappropriate to just touch people that you don’t know. So again, this is if you have built rapport with her, if you have spoken to her already, if you’re on, you know, the first few dates, that kind of thing. But these subtle signals communicate confidence and interest without being aggressive. If you’re respectful and in tune with the moment, it’s really going to help build chemistry.

Pace Your Pursuit

When a guy feels this strong attraction for someone, he sometimes goes all-in, texting non-stop, giving compliments constantly, buying gifts way too early. It feels really overwhelming. And to a woman who’s used to being pursued, it can come off as trying to sort of buy her affection or move things forward before there’s real connection. It almost feels a little bit transactional. Attraction needs space to grow. If you skip the buildup, you’ll lose the tension and the mystery that’s there. So stay calm, consistent, and interested without being overbearing and overwhelming. That balance is going to show confidence and emotional maturity.

Don’t Assume Her Dating Status

A common mistake that many men make with beautiful women is assuming that she must already be taken, constantly dating or juggling this endless attention from a whole roster of guys. And this often leads to one of two things. Either they approach with a defensive, skeptical attitude, or they end up not approaching her at all. They think, “Why bother? She probably already has 10 guys chasing her already.” But here is the reality. A lot of attractive women actually get approached less than you would expect, at least in a meaningful or respectful way. A lot of men will feel a little bit too intimidated or assume they don’t have a chance, so they talk themselves out of it before they even try. And if you do approach, carrying that assumption with you still creates distance. It can make you come off as cold, disinterested, or insecure. Like you’re bracing for rejection before the conversation with her even starts. And the problem here is that you’re no longer seeing her. you’re seeing an idea of her. You’ve built up this image of her in your head, sort of like putting her on a pedestal, and now you’re interacting with that instead of the actual person that is standing in front of you. The better mindset to have here is just a neutral curiosity. You don’t know her story. She might be single. She might be looking for something real. She might just appreciate a genuine conversation, but you’ll never know unless you actually show up with openness, not assumption. So, don’t psych yourself out. Don’t write her story before she’s even had the chance to share it with you. Treat her like a human being, not this fantasy that you’re creating in your head, and you’ll already stand out from 99% of the guys who never even try.

Drop Prejudgments

Sticking on the assumption train here, some men approach beautiful women with the mindset that they’re probably rude, entitled, hard to talk to, shallow. This judgmental mindset is going to leak into their tone, energy, or even the things that they’re saying. And women can feel it. You’re projecting your own biases onto someone that you don’t even know, and it makes the interaction feel really awkward or tense. And this goes for anything. When you approach someone with assumptions, you limit the possibility for a real connection. Instead, try to go in with a clean slate. Be open, grounded, and curious. And let her maybe surprise you. People often rise to meet the energy that you bring. And remember, one of my favorite little sayings that I like to say on my channel here is when you assume, you make an ass of you and me.

At the end of the day, beautiful women are still just women. They want real connection, authenticity, and someone who sees them for who they are. When you stop putting them on a pedestal, stop trying to impress them all the time, and just show up as your real, grounded self, that’s when you’re going to stand out. You’re not going to connect with everyone, and that is okay.

To earn a woman’s respect, focus on being the version of yourself that leads with clarity, calm, and quiet strength. That’s what we notice, and that’s what we remember.

Must Read First Date Question | Conversation Starters | Love Bombing and More about Relationship – Follow me on INSTAGRAM and X (Twitter)

Top 5 Tips for RISK FREE Flirting (For Men)

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conversation starters, social skills, networking tips, deep conversation questions, small talk alternatives

Namskar, Anshu here and I want to show you how you can dramatically increase the amount of opportunities and attraction you are getting in your love life by showing you five tried and tested flirting techniques that not only work, but are subtle enough that you won’t have to risk looking desperate or getting painfully rejected while trying them. These strategies will help you create meaningful connections while staying true to yourself. Let’s dive into how to flirt confidently without fear of embarrassment.

Why Flirting Feels Risky (And How to Overcome It)

Our fear of how we will look when we try to flirt and the idea of it going wrong can make us spend our lives playing it safe. Especially when it comes to the people we really like, which is understandable because we know it is their rejection that will hurt the most. And because if it goes wrong, we will have to move countries and there is still 6 months left on our apartment lease. But playing it too safe can mean missing out on real opportunities where something could have blossomed, leaving you with the nagging feeling that your single status might partly stem from holding yourself back.

These five flirting techniques are subtle, effective, and low-risk, allowing you to build attraction without overexposing yourself. Whether you’re at a social event, on a dating app, or trying to escape the friend zone, these strategies will help you make an impact. Let’s get started.

1. Do 5% More Than You Normally Would

To flirt without looking desperate, start by taking the word “flirting” out of your mind. Many of us connect flirting to sexuality, which can make us freeze up, fearing we’ll come across as creepy. Instead, think of flirting as turning on the engine of a car—engaging someone in a small, playful way. For example, if you’re standing in line next to someone who looks cold, you might say, “Oh, no. We should have brought bigger jackets, shouldn’t we?” This light-hearted comment is barely detectable as flirting—it could just be friendly. But it opens the door to connection with a playful openness.

Why It Works: Doing 5% more than you normally would feels big to you but subtle to others. It’s like using slightly more body language in a video—it feels over-the-top to you, but to others, it’s hardly noticeable. Start small to turn on the engine without risking rejection.

2. Switch to the Language of Tension

If you’re great at talking but nothing romantic comes of it, you might be missing tension. Conversation alone isn’t enough—conversation plus tension creates that “I have to see you again” spark. Tension comes from creating and closing space in a conversation. For example, if you’re chatting at an event and get separated, you can reinitiate later with, “Remind me to tell you about the greatest conversation I just had.” This reconnects in an intriguing, conspiratorial way.

How to Create Tension:

  • Close the space: Start a conversation, whether in person or on a dating app.
  • Recreate space: Step away briefly—talk to someone else or focus on your life (e.g., don’t text back immediately).
  • Close the space again: Reinitiate with a playful or intriguing comment.

Real-Life Example: Imagine bonding over shared skepticism of new-age beliefs. You get separated, and someone else mentions past lives. You lean over to the person you were flirting with and say, “Remind me to tell you about the greatest conversation I just had.” This creates tension by rekindling the connection.

Why It Works: Tension makes your presence more intensely felt. It’s not about playing games—it’s about balancing engagement with independence, which builds attraction.

3. Create a Shared World

A powerful flirting technique is creating a shared world—a private, exclusive connection between you and another person, like an inside joke or recurring gesture.

Real-Life Example: A friend shared how he and his girlfriend bonded over apples. In a class, he complained about being hungry, and she gave him an apple. The next day, he brought her an apple as a joke, starting a ritual where they’d surprise each other with apples, like serving apple slices at a party. This shared world signaled a connection and made their interactions fun.

How to Do It: Notice small moments with potential. If someone mentions something unique, like a love for a hobby, “yes, and” it by referencing it later. For example, if they mention a ski trip, bring it up playfully later to build a connection.

Why It Works: Shared worlds are attractive because they’re exclusive to you two. They require both people to recognize and build on a moment, signaling mutual connection. These “games” are fun and keep you present, a silent form of investment.

4. Practice Changing Gears

Attraction thrives on contrast, not monotony. If a conversation is stuck in one gear—whether high-energy chatter or low-energy monotony—it lacks chemistry. Flirting requires changing gears to create tension and excitement.

What to Avoid: On a date, avoid frenetic energy where you talk over each other, make excessive gestures, or never pause. This leaves no room for tension. Conversely, being too low-energy can make things lifeless.

How to Change Gears:

  • Speed up for excitement: Share a funny story or joke, hopping from one idea to the next.
  • Slow down for tension: Hold eye contact, speak deliberately, and let moments linger.

Real-Life Example: In a First We Feast YouTube video, Elijah Wood discusses sandwiches with a mix of serious, playful, and cheeky energy. His expressive reactions and shifts from serious to silly make him endearing and “flirtatious” without being overt. Comments noted his charm, like, “I have never found Frodo more attractive.”

Why It Works: Changing gears keeps the conversation dynamic and engaging, showing you’re present and adaptable, which is inherently attractive.

5. Notice Something in a Flirtatious Way

A subtle yet powerful technique is to notice something about a person and comment on it playfully. This isn’t about bold compliments but light, specific observations with a flirty energy.

Real-Life Example: On one of Matthew’s early dates with his wife, Audrey, she noticed he ordered spicy food and said, “I think it’s really attractive when someone likes spicy food. I think it says a lot about them.” She dropped this casually and moved on, making it subtle yet impactful.

How to Do It: Spot something unique, like art on their wall or an item in their dating profile. For example, if you see a Spirited Away poster, say, “Is that a Spirited Away picture on your wall? Well played.” If they ask why, respond, “Nothing. Just you went up a notch in my books without realizing it.”

Why It Works: These comments are low-risk, not overtly romantic, but carry a flirtatious energy that signals interest. They’re specific, making the other person feel seen.

What These Techniques Have in Common

All five techniques—doing 5% more, creating tension, building a shared world, changing gears, and noticing something flirtatiously—are low-risk and rejection-proof. They don’t involve bold declarations that put you on the spot. Instead, they’re about starting small and gradually turning up the temperature, like warming up a car. These strategies let you flirt naturally, building attraction without fear of embarrassment.

Flirt with Confidence

Flirting doesn’t have to be scary or overt. These five subtle techniques help you create attraction, build chemistry, and open the door to meaningful connections without risking rejection. Start small, create tension, build a shared world, change gears, and notice unique details. These strategies let you flirt confidently while staying true to yourself.

Share your thoughts or success stories in the comments below, and let’s keep the conversation going!

33 Killer Conversation Starters to Spark Dazzling Conversations with Anyone

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conversation starters, social skills, networking tips, deep conversation questions, small talk alternatives

Want to master the art of conversation? Here are 33 killer conversation starters to help you connect with anyone, from strangers to friends, in any setting. These engaging questions ditch boring small talk like “Where are you from?” or “What do you do?” and create memorable, meaningful interactions.

Killer Openers: Break the Ice with Ease

These conversation starters are perfect for meeting someone new or reconnecting with an acquaintance, offering fresh alternatives to standard questions.

  • Tell me about you.
    this is a great one because it invites the other person to tell you something that they want to share if they want to tell you about their job they can if they want to tell you about their kids they can and it’s a great way to know what’s at the top of someone’s mind
  • Working on anything exciting recently?
    this is my alternative to what do you do asking if someone is working on anything exciting helps the other person talk about something good in their life as opposed to just giving you a boring update
  • What’s your story?
    this is an interesting conversation starter because it invites someone to tell you a story about themselves and you never know what exciting thing they might tell you
  • What personal passion project are you working on right now?
    this is one of my favorites you never know what secret side hustle someone has I love asking this one to people I already know in one context like work but would love to know more about them personally
  • How do you know the host?
    this one can be modified to any kind of event if you’re at a party hopefully you both have the host in common if you’re at a networking event or work party you can modify it – how long have you been a part of this organization
  • What was the highlight of your day today? / What was the highlight of your week?
    these are both great ones to ask instead of the standard how are you or how’s it going it also helps people share a positive story instead of just an autopilot answer of fine good
  • Have you been to an event like this before?
    this one can be modified for most types of vents from birthday parties did you come last year to networking events do you come every month
  • What was the High Point and low point of your day so far?
    this one is great if you have a talker if you’re speaking with an extrovert asking questions for them to ruminate and expand will tickle their fancy extroverts love this question
  • Has this been a busy time for you?
    I don’t always like to ask people about being busy but I use this conversation starter if someone seems distracted or not engaged sometimes acknowledging their busyness can hook them in
  • How’s that drink appetizer artwork game?
    one of my favorite context cues is asking about whatever someone is holding or doing ask them about their wine ask them if they like the artwork ask them if the food is good these are very easy openers
  • Having fun?
    a really easy cold approach opener is to look for someone who is by themselves but looks like they’re having an okay time it’s easy to sit next to someone at a table or stand next to someone at the bar and simply ask having a good time or enjoying yourself it’s a nice opener and better than just how are you

Getting Personal: Deepen the Conversation

These questions help sustain a conversation, moving from small talk to more personal topics.

  • What are you doing this weekend?
    ever had that awkward lull in a conversation this conversation starter is always welcome and if it’s a monday or tuesday you can modify to ask did you do anything fun this past weekend sometimes I also try what’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends
  • What are your favorite restaurants around here?
    I almost always ask for personal recommendations they make great conversation starters why I always get great tips and if someone doesn’t have an answer because they’re new to a city you can always talk about where they came from
  • When win keeping up with sport TV show news?
    if you’re up-to-date on news or sports you could also ask your partner if they keep up as well if so great you have a lot in common if not you can tell them about it
  • Can you recommend any unique cocktails appetizers desserts?
    another great way to get recommendations is asking what to order or grab from the buffet if they haven’t eaten yet you can go grab some food together
  • All the foods looks so good I’m not sure what to get what are you thinking or what have you tried?
    a variation of asking for recommendation is asking simply for advice on what to order even at networking events you could walk up to the bar to get recommendations
  • What a beautiful cool ugly bizarre venue have you been here before?
    one thing you will always have wherever you are is context whether you’re in a house a restaurant or a ballroom there’s always something unique to comment on and ask about
  • Did you see that viral YouTube video it was all over my social media today?
    if there is a great video or meme you just watched bring it up show them my video if they have seen it you can laugh together if they haven’t you can show them

Deep Conversation Starters: Build Stronger Connections

For longer interactions or with familiar people, these questions foster deeper, more meaningful conversations, as outlined in Captivate’s three interaction phases: first five minutes, first five hours, and first five days.

  • If you had to pick any character in a book movie or TV show who is most similar to you who would you choose why?
    this is a great one if someone has just talked about an actor or book or movie it tells you a lot about a person to hear which character they feel most like
  • When you were growing up what was your dream job is any part of that still true?
    I love asking this one any time someone has just mentioned something about their own childhood or growing up it also helps you to talk about their current job and if it’s similar to their original dream
  • What’s your biggest fear?
    ooh this one’s deep but so good it always sparks great conversation
  • What’s your biggest regret?
    talking about regret can really help you get to know someone and there past only ask this if you really want to get to know them
  • Who is your role model?
    if you’re talking about an inspiring person or boss or author you might be able to ask the person about their role model this is a great way to talk about who inspires you

Event-Specific Conversation Starters: Make It Timely

These holiday- or event-based questions add a fun, relevant spin to conversations.

  • January: what’s your new year’s resolution
  • February: do you usually celebrate Valentine’s Day do you think it’s a real or fake holiday
  • March: I went to the coolest Irish bar last st. Patrick’s Day doing anything fun this year
  • April: how long did you believe in the Easter Bunny
  • July: what’s the best fireworks display you’ve seen on the fourth of July
  • October: what’s the best Halloween costume you ever had or do you like haunted houses or scary movies
  • November: what’s your favorite Thanksgiving dinner food
  • December: how does your family celebrate for the holidays
  • Birthday-specific:
    • so the birthday person what was the highlight of your last year or what do you want to achieve for next year
    • to follow celebrators how do you usually celebrate your birthday or what was the best birthday you ever had
    • to everyone what was the best or worst birthday gift you ever received this is a great one to do around a dinner table the answers are always hilarious

Tips for Mastering Conversation Starters

  • any and all of these conversations orders will work for you if you are courageous enough to drop the boring ones and get to the good ones most people are so relieved to have you start and continue the personally
  • remember you also want to have your answers to these questions ready to go if someone doesn’t know their answer you can jump in with yours to make them feel more comfortable good luck can’t wait for you to have your next convo

Take Your Conversation Skills Further

hey I want to tell you one more thing you are amazing the question is do you know how to share it I’d love to help I saved my very best tips for my insider subscribers subscribe for free at science at people.com I know your inbox is sacred so I promise to send you only emails want more conversation tips sign up at science of people.com slash conversationalist to get our free mini course three steps to amazing conversation I want to make you an excellent conversationalist

FAQ: Common Questions About Conversation Starters

1. What are the best conversation starters for meeting new people?
Use openers like “Tell me about you” or “Working on anything exciting recently?” to invite engaging, personal responses that avoid generic small talk.

2. How can I keep a conversation going without awkward pauses?
Ask follow-up questions like “What are you doing this weekend?” or use context cues, such as “How’s that drink?” to maintain a natural flow.

3. What are deep conversation starters for building stronger connections?
Try questions like “What’s your biggest fear?” or “Who is your role model?” to transition to meaningful topics with friends or acquaintances.

4. How do I start conversations at networking events or parties?
Leverage context with questions like “How do you know the host?” or “What a cool venue, have you been here before?” to break the ice.

5. What are good conversation starters for holiday or birthday events?
Use timely questions like “What’s your New Year’s resolution?” (January) or “What was the best birthday gift you ever received?” for festive, relevant chats.

6. How do I make conversations feel natural and authentic?
Be courageous, use context (e.g., venue, food), and have your own answers ready to share, making others feel comfortable and engaged.

Top 5 Best First Date Tips For Men

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First Date

Namaskar, I’m sharing how to have a great first date. Today, I’m sharing five tips for a successful first date to ensure you leave feeling confident, regardless of the outcome. Follow these tips, and you won’t be thinking, “I could have done this better.” Let’s jump into it!

Tip 1: Dress Well for Your First Date

Number one on my list is to dress well. I’m not saying dress like someone you’re not or wear what you think she wants. If you buy an outfit just for the first date and don’t have similar clothes for a second date, she might notice you dressed to impress in a way that’s not your style. When I say dress well, I mean dress like the best version of yourself. This depends on the date setting:

  • For a casual brunch on the weekend, go for jeans, sneakers, and a nice shirt to fit the vibe.
  • For after-work drinks or dinner, maybe lean toward business casual.

I won’t get super specific about outfits since that’s a whole video on its own. If you want me to cover what to wear on a first date, let me know in the comments! Just dress for the setting—don’t try too hard with a full suit unless you’re hitting a gala, which I wouldn’t recommend for a first date anyway. Look like you put in effort, not like you rolled out of bed. If a guy shows up in a stretched-out V-neck looking hungover, it’s an instant turnoff. First impressions are key, so make a good one!

Tip 2: Pick the Perfect First Date Location

Next, pick the perfect place. This varies based on where you live and the season. In California, where it’s sunny and 75° year-round, you have more options than in Cleveland, where it’s cold seven months of the year and winter activities are limited. Choose a public setting where you can get to know each other without revealing too much too soon. I don’t recommend inviting her to your place on the first date—it shows all your cards and leaves no mystery.

Go somewhere casual and fun where you can talk one-on-one. A fancy dinner date isn’t ideal for a first date. If you realize 20 minutes in that you don’t click, you’re stuck in a four-course meal with someone you don’t like, and you’re footing the bill. Plus, flashing too much money might attract the wrong type of person. Avoid places like movies for a first date with someone you’ve never met. Sitting in silence for two hours sharing popcorn is awkward and kills any chance to connect. If you’re already friends, a movie’s fine, but for online matches, stick to conversation-friendly spots like a café or a relaxed restaurant.

Tip 3: Master First Date Conversation

Conversation is arguably the most important part of a first date. Get to know her—what she’s into, who she is—but she should be curious about you too. If she’s not asking you anything, it might mean she’s not interested, and that’s okay. Not every date will be a match. If you’ve checked her Instagram and know things you shouldn’t, don’t ask questions to seem impressive or robotic. Be candid, go with the flow, and notice what she lights up about. Focus on those topics and see if you share common interests.

Don’t talk about yourself the whole time—I’ve been on dates where the guy did this, and it’s awkward and unenjoyable. If you’re asking all the questions and getting nothing back, it’s a turnoff. Show curiosity if you’re interested. After the date, ask yourself: Do I want to know more about her? Are we compatible? Is a second date worth it? A good first date conversation in the right setting helps you figure this out.

Tip 4: Know When to End or Continue the Date

My next tip is knowing when to stop or continue the date. This is why a public place with a natural endpoint, like brunch, is ideal. When the bill’s paid and you’ve chatted a bit, decide: Do I want to keep going, or am I ready to call it? If you’re not feeling it or sense she’s done, be polite, say you had a nice time, and part ways. But if you’re both having fun, be spontaneous! Suggest something else, like a walk or a quick activity.

On my first date with Teddy, we clicked instantly at brunch. Neither of us wanted it to end, so he invited me to go shopping with him at an outdoor mall. We walked, talked, and I learned so much more about him in that relaxed setting. It was attractive that he thought on his feet and showed interest. Spontaneity can turn a good date into a great one, maybe even a full day that leads to years together!

Another thing: Pay the bill on the first date. I have traditional values, and I find it attractive when a guy takes initiative. It avoids awkward moments when the bill arrives. Teddy and I now split bills sometimes, but on the first date, grabbing the check is a confident move.

Tip 5: Be Clear About Next Steps

Finally, be clear about next steps. If you don’t want a second date, don’t say you do. Be polite, but don’t lead her on, especially if you’re both looking for something serious. If you’re unsure, don’t commit right away—go home, think it over, and decide later. Don’t seem too eager or overly available; it can set unrealistic expectations. But if you’re into her, let her know. At the end of my 12-hour date with Teddy, he said, “I’d love to see you again,” and it felt great knowing we were on the same page.

Now, the dreaded after-date text. As a girl, we overthink this—should I text him? Should I wait? Guys, if you had a great time, text her when you get home. Say, “Had a great time tonight, it was awesome meeting you!” It’s confident and stops her from stressing. Don’t rush to plan the next date, but if she responds with similar energy, you can suggest a second date later. For example: “Hey, had a great time today. I don’t know what your week looks like, but I’d love to see you again.” This shows interest without being pushy. Sincerity beats games when you’re looking for a quality connection.

Wrap-Up: Make Your First Date Unforgettable

That’s my list of five tips for a great first date! I hope you found this helpful. If you did, give it a thumbs up—I love connecting with you there and putting faces to the comments!

In the comments below, let me know:

  • What do you think of these first date tips?
  • Did I miss anything, or do you disagree?
  • Share your first date stories—mistakes you made or learned from. They’re fun and help us all grow!

Thank you so much for reading, and I’ll see you next time!

Is It Normal for a Man to Directly Ask for Intimacy on a First Date?

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When It’s Okay to Discuss Intimacy

In the ever-evolving world of modern dating, questions about boundaries, expectations, and appropriate behavior often arise, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like intimacy. One question that frequently surfaces is: Is it normal for a man to directly ask for intimacy on a first date? This topic sparks curiosity, debate, and sometimes discomfort, as it touches on issues of communication, consent, cultural norms, and personal boundaries. As a professional psychologist with extensive experience in relationship dynamics, I aim to provide a detailed, empathetic, and evidence-based exploration of this question to help readers navigate the complexities of first-date interactions.

1. Understanding the Question: What Does “Normal” Mean in This Context?

When we ask whether it’s “normal” for a man to directly request intimacy on a first date, we’re really asking about acceptability, frequency, and appropriateness within the context of modern dating. “Normal” is a subjective term, heavily influenced by personal values, cultural backgrounds, and individual expectations. For some, a direct request might feel bold and honest; for others, it may come across as inappropriate or disrespectful.

From a psychological perspective, “normal” behavior aligns with societal norms, personal boundaries, and mutual comfort. However, dating norms are not universal. What’s considered acceptable in one context (e.g., a casual dating app encounter) may be inappropriate in another (e.g., a date arranged through mutual friends). To answer this question thoroughly, we need to explore the motivations behind such requests, the context in which they occur, and how they’re received.

“Normal” depends on the individuals involved, their expectations, and the context of the date. Understanding this subjectivity is the first step to navigating first-date dynamics.

2. The Psychology Behind Asking for Intimacy on a First Date

Communication Styles and Gender Expectations

Men and women often face different societal pressures when it comes to dating communication. Men, in particular, may feel compelled to take the lead or express interest assertively due to traditional gender roles. In some cases, a man might ask for intimacy directly because he perceives it as a confident or transparent move, aligning with cultural narratives that reward boldness in male behavior.

However, communication styles vary widely. Some individuals prefer directness, while others value subtlety and gradual connection-building. A man who asks for intimacy on a first date may be operating from a direct communication style, but this doesn’t necessarily mean his intentions are disrespectful. Understanding his communication approach can provide insight into his motivations.

Motivations Behind Direct Requests

There are several reasons a man might ask for intimacy on a first date:

  • Honesty About Intentions: He may want to clarify that he’s seeking a physical connection, possibly to avoid leading his date on if their goals don’t align.
  • Misreading Signals: He might misinterpret friendliness or flirtation as an invitation to discuss intimacy.
  • Cultural or Social Conditioning: In some social circles or dating app cultures, directness about physical desires is more common.
  • Lack of Social Awareness: Some individuals may not realize that such a request could make their date uncomfortable.
  • Entitlement or Pressure: In less healthy cases, a man might feel entitled to intimacy or believe it’s expected based on societal stereotypes or past experiences.

The Role of Confidence vs. Entitlement

Confidence and entitlement can sometimes be confused. A confident man might express interest in a respectful, consensual way, gauging his date’s comfort level. Entitlement, on the other hand, disregards boundaries and assumes reciprocation. Distinguishing between these two is critical when evaluating a first-date interaction.

Research suggests that men are more likely to overestimate sexual interest from women due to evolutionary and social factors (Buss & Schmitt, 1993). This misperception can lead to premature or direct requests for intimacy, especially in early dating stages.

3. Cultural and Social Influences on First-Date Behavior

Dating Norms Across Cultures

Dating etiquette varies significantly across cultures. In some Western cultures, particularly in urban settings, casual dating and open discussions about physical attraction are more accepted. In contrast, in more traditional or collectivist societies, such as parts of Asia or the Middle East, discussing intimacy on a first date may be considered highly inappropriate or even taboo.

For example, in the United States, dating app culture has normalized faster-paced interactions, with some individuals feeling comfortable discussing physical desires early. In contrast, in countries like Japan, dating often involves a slower, more formal process, where intimacy discussions are reserved for later stages.

The Impact of Media and Dating Apps

Media portrayals of dating, from rom-coms to reality TV, often depict men as bold initiators of physical intimacy. Dating apps like Tinder or Bumble, which prioritize quick connections, can amplify this dynamic, creating an environment where directness is sometimes expected. According to a 2022 study by Pew Research, 59% of dating app users report encountering conversations about physical intimacy early in their interactions, suggesting it’s not uncommon in certain contexts.

Generational Differences in Dating Expectations

Millennials and Gen Z often have different approaches to dating compared to older generations. Younger daters, influenced by hookup culture and digital communication, may be more open to discussing intimacy early, while older generations might prioritize emotional connection first. Understanding these generational nuances can help contextualize a man’s behavior on a first date.

Cultural and social factors heavily influence what’s considered “normal” in dating. Being aware of these influences can help you interpret and respond to a man’s request for intimacy.

4. Is It Normal? A Statistical and Psychological Perspective

Prevalence of Intimacy Discussions on First Dates

While exact statistics on men asking for intimacy on first dates are limited, studies on dating behavior provide some context. A 2021 survey by Match.com found that 34% of singles reported discussing physical attraction or expectations within the first two dates, with men being slightly more likely to initiate these conversations. This suggests that while not universal, such discussions are not rare, particularly in casual dating scenarios.

Psychological Implications of Early Intimacy Requests

From a psychological standpoint, asking for intimacy on a first date can have varied implications:

  • For the Asker: It may reflect confidence, a desire for transparency, or a lack of emotional awareness. In some cases, it could indicate impulsivity or unrealistic expectations.
  • For the Recipient: The request might trigger discomfort, pressure, or confusion, especially if it feels premature. However, if handled respectfully, it could also open a dialogue about mutual expectations.

A 2020 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that early discussions of physical intimacy were associated with higher relationship satisfaction when both parties felt comfortable and respected, but lower satisfaction when boundaries were crossed.

5. Consent and Boundaries: The Cornerstone of Healthy Interactions

Why Consent Matters on a First Date

Consent is non-negotiable in any romantic or physical interaction. A man asking for intimacy on a first date is not inherently problematic, provided the request is made respectfully and with an openness to hearing “no.” Consent requires clear, enthusiastic agreement from both parties, free from coercion or pressure.

Setting and Communicating Boundaries

If a man asks for intimacy and you’re uncomfortable, it’s essential to communicate your boundaries clearly. For example:

  • Direct Response: “I appreciate your honesty, but I’m not comfortable discussing or pursuing intimacy this early.”
  • Redirecting the Conversation: “I’d love to get to know you better first. What are some things you’re passionate about?”

Setting boundaries early establishes mutual respect and helps gauge whether your date values your comfort.

Red Flags to Watch For

While a direct request isn’t always a red flag, certain behaviors are cause for concern:

  • Ignoring Your Response: If he persists after you say no, this indicates a lack of respect for your boundaries.
  • Pressure or Guilt-Tripping: Statements like “You’re being too uptight” or “I thought you were open-minded” are manipulative.
  • Disrespectful Tone: A dismissive or entitled attitude suggests deeper issues with empathy or respect.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and emotional safety. Early boundary violations can predict future challenges in a relationship (Gottman, 1999).

6. How to Respond if a Man Asks for Intimacy on a First Date

Assertive Communication Strategies

Responding to a direct request for intimacy requires confidence and clarity. Here are some strategies:

  • Acknowledge and Redirect: “I hear you, but I’d rather focus on getting to know each other first.”
  • Set a Firm Boundary: “I’m not comfortable with that right now, and I’d appreciate it if we could keep things light.”
  • Ask Questions: “What made you feel comfortable asking that?” This can open a dialogue and reveal his intentions.

Evaluating Compatibility and Intentions

A man’s request for intimacy can provide insight into his goals. Is he seeking a casual fling, or is he testing the waters for a deeper connection? Asking clarifying questions like “What are you looking for in a relationship?” can help you determine if your values align.

Maintaining Your Comfort and Safety

Your comfort and safety are paramount. If the request feels overwhelming, it’s okay to end the date early or take a step back. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, prioritize your well-being.

Pro Tip: Practice assertive communication in low-stakes settings to build confidence for handling unexpected situations on dates.

7. The Role of Gender Dynamics in Dating Expectations

Societal Pressures on Men and Women

Gender norms often place pressure on men to be assertive or dominant in dating, while women are expected to be more reserved. These stereotypes can lead to misunderstandings, such as a man feeling obligated to make a bold move or a woman feeling pressured to comply to avoid conflict.

Breaking Down Stereotypes

Challenging these stereotypes involves open communication and mutual respect. Both men and women benefit when dating is approached as a collaborative, egalitarian process rather than a scripted performance of gender roles.

Gender dynamics influence dating behavior, but prioritizing authenticity and respect can create healthier interactions.

8. Building Healthy Connections: Alternatives to Premature Intimacy Requests

Fostering Emotional Intimacy First

Emotional intimacy—built through shared values, meaningful conversations, and mutual vulnerability—often lays a stronger foundation for a relationship than physical intimacy. Encourage activities like discussing shared interests, exploring each other’s goals, or engaging in lighthearted, playful banter.

Creating a Respectful First-Date Environment

To foster respect on a first date:

  • Choose a Neutral Setting: Public places like cafes or parks create a low-pressure environment.
  • Focus on Connection: Ask open-ended questions to build rapport.
  • Respect Pace: Allow the relationship to unfold naturally without rushing to physical or emotional milestones.

9. When It’s Okay to Discuss Intimacy: Timing and Context

Mutual Interest and Comfort Levels

Discussing intimacy is appropriate when both parties feel comfortable and have established mutual interest. Signs of readiness include:

  • Open, honest communication about relationship goals.
  • A sense of trust and emotional connection.
  • Mutual respect for each other’s boundaries.

Signs of a Healthy Conversation About Intimacy

A healthy discussion about intimacy is:

  • Respectful: Both parties feel heard and valued.
  • Consensual: No one feels pressured to agree.
  • Context-Appropriate: The conversation aligns with the stage of the relationship.

Psychological Insight: Couples who prioritize emotional intimacy before physical intimacy report higher relationship satisfaction and longevity (Markman et al., 2010).

10. FAQs About Intimacy on First Dates

Q: Is it a red flag if a man asks for intimacy on a first date?
A: Not necessarily, but it depends on how the request is made and how he responds to your boundaries. If he respects your comfort level and doesn’t pressure you, it may simply reflect his communication style. However, persistent or disrespectful behavior is a red flag.

Q: How do I say no without making things awkward?
A: Be clear and kind: “I’m not comfortable with that right now, but I’m enjoying getting to know you.” Redirect the conversation to a neutral topic to maintain a positive vibe.

Q: What if I’m interested in intimacy but not on the first date?
A: Communicate your interest while setting a timeline that feels right: “I’m open to that down the line, but I’d like to take things slow and build a connection first.”

Q: Does asking for intimacy mean he’s only interested in something casual?
A: Not always. Some people use directness to clarify intentions. Ask about his relationship goals to understand his motivations better.

Q: How can I tell if he respects my boundaries?
A: A respectful partner will acknowledge your response, not push back, and adjust their behavior to ensure your comfort.

Q: Are men more likely to ask for intimacy than women on first dates?
A: Research suggests men are more likely to initiate conversations about physical intimacy due to socialized gender roles, but individual differences vary widely.

Q: How do I rebuild trust after an uncomfortable first-date moment?
A: Open communication is key. Discuss how the moment made you feel and assess whether he’s willing to respect your boundaries moving forward.

Q: Is it okay to end a date if I feel pressured?
A: Absolutely. Your safety and comfort come first. Politely excuse yourself if you feel uneasy.

Q: How do dating apps influence first-date intimacy expectations?
A: Dating apps can create a fast-paced environment where physical attraction is prioritized, but clear communication about expectations can help align goals.

Q: Can a relationship work if intimacy is discussed too early?
A: Yes, if both parties communicate openly, respect boundaries, and share compatible goals. Early discussions don’t have to derail a connection.

The question of whether it’s normal for a man to ask for intimacy on a first date directly doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. Individual personalities, cultural norms, and the context of the date shape it. While such a request isn’t inherently wrong, it’s critical to prioritise consent, respect, and mutual comfort. By understanding the psychological and social factors at play, setting clear boundaries, and fostering open communication, you can navigate first-date dynamics with confidence and clarity.

Whether you’re exploring modern dating or seeking to build meaningful connections, remember that healthy relationships are rooted in mutual respect and emotional safety. If a man’s request for intimacy feels premature, trust your instincts, communicate your needs, and prioritize your well-being. Dating is a journey, and each interaction offers an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you value in a partner.

How to Flirt Over Instagram Text: 4 Expert Tips for Men (With Examples)

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Flirting over Instagram text chatting can be a challenge, especially for shy guys or those looking to figure out if their game is really as strong as they thought it was. If you’re one of the many men out there who suck at the flirting game, to be honest, this guide is for you. By the time they’re done, they’re either completely turning you off with their words, actions or inactions, or basically they just have no game and so they walk away feeling defeated mostly. If that’s you, and you know yourself, you don’t need me to tell you. Thank you so much for joining this particular article, I’m gonna make it worth your while. Here are four practical tips, straight from dating coach Anshu, to help you master texting flirtation, complete with examples to spark your next conversation.

Why Flirting Over Text Matters

Texting is often the first step in building a connection in today’s dating world. There are lots of men out there who struggle with flirting over text because they go overboard or miss the mark. The key is to keep it short and sweet, stay positive, be complimentary, and ask playful questions. Let’s dive into the tips to make your texts stand out.

4 Tips to Flirt Over Text Like a Pro

1. Keep It Short and Sweet

Now in my opinion, the first tip is to keep it short and sweet, very important, short and sweet. There are a lot of guys who just go out there and it’s like okay, I’ve seen this girl, I’m really feeling her, let me just go right ahead and tell her everything that’s on my mind, how she made me feel, how your heart was just out of your chest when you saw her and that kind of thing. That might actually be a cool thing to do but alternatively don’t forget that depending on how you do it it might come across as imposing downright disruptive or maybe even unwelcome, depending on once again who you’re talking to and the circumstances surrounding where she currently is at. So if you want to know how to flirt with a woman over insta text, my first tip is to keep it short and simple. Short and simple.

There is an acronym that says ‘KISS’ “Keep It Simple Stupid”. What that simply means is, when you’re sending a text to a woman, amongst other things, go straight to the point, don’t blab, don’t brag, don’t stretch the conversation unnecessarily. If you ask me you might even want to make a deliberate effort to use open-ended questions that will motivate her to talk some more. Because if you ask questions like (‘Whats Up’) and she says (‘nothing’) What will you say after that? Okay maybe (‘Having a good day’) then she says (‘YES’) Are you going to be doing that little dance with your thumbs or twiddling with your thumbs to try and figure out what to type next.

  • Why it works: Open-ended questions always allow the person who’s being asked the question to elaborate, keeping the conversation flowing naturally.
  • Examples:
  • Missing that face. Send me a picture
  • So, I had a crazy dream about you…
  • What are you doing this weekend besides being with me?

What do you think? I think you just scored a hundred, personally.

2. Stay Positive and Light-Hearted

Stay positive, stay positive and I know it can be hard, especially if maybe the lady who you’re engaging with is not forthcoming, but it’s always good to keep a positive tone. Typically flirting is supposed to be friendly, light-hearted, not taken too seriously, okay, so if you want to flirt with a woman, you need to keep that whole positive energy and let that shine through the messages that you send. Remember, if you’re going for a flirty tone, you always want to keep it light and avoid talking about heavy, intense stuff because then that makes the conversation awkward and especially if she’s not really too keen on engaging with you then you lose out from the get-go.

  • Why it works: Positivity is attractive and helps her associate you with good feelings.
  • Examples:
  • Got great news and guess what? You’re the only one I wanna tell.
  • Thinking about the story you told me. When do I get to hear more
  • The movie you mentioned! I’m hooked. How do you know me so well?

What do you think, this might get you somewhere, like that whole thing about her being the first person you wanted to tell or her being the first person you thought about, kind of tells her that hey, I really, really like you and I actually have you in mind most of the time and I’d like to get to know you a little bit, if you’re open for it. Messages like that will get you far.

3. Be Complementary

Be complementary, be complementary. As they say, flattery will get you anywhere however, I do believe that the more sincere a comment or a compliment is, the more it will be taken to heart and seen for what it truly is all right, so don’t go about you know saying stuff like, I think you have an amazing and you mentioned a body part knowing very well that the woman is probably even insecure about that, better yet if you’re not sure then don’t even go there trying to mention body parts or trying to compliment her on any part of her body, because it gets tricky when it comes to women. The way men see women is completely different from how we see ourselves and so the thing that may be really getting you going, might be that thing that really makes her feel down because she thinks maybe she has too little of, a whole lot more of, etc.

So learn to be complimentary, let her know if there are certain things about her that you like and if you ask me steer clear of compliments that necessarily involve her body and more about the way she thinks her brain her achievements and that kind of thing. A lot of women like to think and especially women who aren’t and you can tell usually the kind of woman that you’re dealing with if she’s a woman who isn’t big on looks necessarily and is not the kind who will go on social media to take pictures and show her behind because that seems to be the only leverage she has then she would appreciate compliments via text in a manner that complements her thought processes more than anything else.

  • Why it works: Sincere compliments build trust and show you’re paying attention to who she is.
  • Examples:
  • Your energy is so contagious—how do you stay so upbeat?
  • That idea you shared the other day was so smart. Tell me more about how you think.
  • Your laugh is honestly the best part of my day.

4. Ask Playful Questions

Let’s move on to our final tip for today’s article, it’s simply to ask a playful question. So once again flirting is supposed to be light-hearted, playful, not too serious, not too intense, like I said in a previous conversation. So send a playful message, a playful text.

  • Why it works: Playful questions spark curiosity and invite her to join in the banter, creating a dynamic conversation.
  • Examples:
  • Guess the emoji I put next to your name on my phone (she may say Which one) and then you can respond (I’d like to show you in person)
  • How can I concentrate when all I do is think about you? (she may answer Wanna hang this weekend?)
  • What’s one thing I have to know about you before we hang out this weekend?

And you might end up getting somewhere.

Bonus Tips for Flirting Over Text

If you’ve already met up in person at least once or you’ve been conversing quite a lot, then you can use flirty texts as an opportunity to solidify an inside joke. Now the thing about that is inside jokes, you know sort of elicit a feeling of intimacy, familiarity and they usually go down very well and that is only if you do indeed have some kind of inside joke, a joke that’s shared between just the two of you, that if you made a comment in public she’d be the only one who would get it, right inside joke okay.

In your text messaging, you can feel free to add an emoji or two with your flirty text for a little emotional flavor, but don’t go overboard. So what you say with your words is what counts emojis are only supposed to add a little bit of flavor, flavor to your messages so don’t go overboard don’t overuse them such that she needs to like ask other friends or what does this mean or what does that mean, of course depending on the age of the woman some of them, some women care others really don’t, so use emojis but use them sparingly and let it help send your message home.

My last hint or tip I’ll give you, is to keep in mind that whilst flirting is great and it can be interesting over text, in my opinion the best way to flirt is face to face, it always helps when the person is right in front of you, your expression send a message, your tone of voice as a message, a lot of things that are usually lost in text messaging you can do in person to really drive your message home.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Don’t send long paragraphs or multiple texts before she responds.
  • Avoid heavy, intense stuff that makes the conversation awkward.
  • Skip generic questions like “Whats Up” that lead to dead-end replies.
  • Pay attention to her responses—if she’s not forthcoming, give her space.

Why These Tips Work

So that’s it for today how to flirt over texts. These strategies work because they keep things light-hearted, engaging, and authentic, whether you’re just starting to text or building on an existing connection. Drop a comment below with your favorite texting example or share how these tips worked for you! If you like this article, don’t forget to subscribe for more dating advice to level up your game.

FAQs About Flirting Over Text

1. How do I start a flirty text conversation?

You could say something like, hey, I had a really terrible day, I had a flat tire or something really bad happened either at school or at work and I’m kind of hoping that you had a better day than I did. Now, not only have you told her that you want to know whether her day is actually going well, you’ve also started by telling her how your day went, so most likely her answer would be more engaging as opposed to a simple yes or no answer, closed answers.

2. What if she doesn’t respond to my flirty texts?

If maybe the lady who you’re engaging with is not forthcoming, stay positive and I know it can be hard. Don’t send multiple texts right away. If she’s not really too keen on engaging with you, give her space and try again later or consider flirting in person to build a stronger connection.

3. How often should I wait to text her back when flirting?

There’s no strict rule, but respond when it feels natural. If she’s replying quickly, keep up the pace to avoid twiddling with your thumbs to try and figure out what to type next. Matching her energy keeps the conversation flowing.

4. Can I flirt over text if we’ve never met in person?

Yes, but keep it short and simple. Try something like, “Just curious—what’s something I’d notice about you if we met right now? 😊” This is playful and low-pressure, inviting her to share without being imposing downright disruptive.

5. What are some flirty texts to send at night?

Try a text like, “Can’t sleep… wondering what you’re dreaming about tonight 😏” or “Just wanted to say goodnight—you’re kinda on my mind.” These keep it light and hint at interest without being too intense.