Love bombing—showering someone with too much affection or attention right out of the gate—can actually backfire, hurting both of you. If you’ve caught yourself going overboard (or been on the receiving end) and want to dial it back, you’re in good company. We’ve rounded up 18 honest, no-filter tips from folks who’ve been through it themselves. Shared just as they were written, these ideas will help you slow down, stay grounded, and build genuine, lasting connections.
Why Stopping Love Bombing Matters
Love bombing often stems from excitement or insecurity, but it can overwhelm your partner and create unbalanced dynamics. By pacing yourself and focusing on mutual connection, you can cultivate relationships that are genuine and lasting. Below are 18 tips to help you stop love bombing, straight from those who’ve learned to navigate it.
18 Tips to Stop Love Bombing
- The best way to avoid love bombing is to be genuinely curious about the other person. Instead of showering them with affection, gifts, or over-the-top gestures to “win” them over, focus on asking questions, listening to their answers, and letting the connection build naturally.
- Slow down and let things develop organically. It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new connection, but pacing yourself helps prevent overwhelming the other person.
- Reflect on your intentions. Are you showing affection because it feels authentic, or are you trying to secure their approval? If it’s the latter, take a step back and focus on building a real connection rather than trying to “lock them in.”
- Set boundaries for yourself. For example, limit how often you text or call in the early stages, and avoid grand gestures until you’ve built a solid foundation.
- Practice self-awareness. If you notice yourself idealizing the other person or feeling desperate to make them like you, pause and check in with yourself. Journaling or talking to a therapist can help you understand why you feel the urge to love bomb.
- Focus on your own life. Stay engaged with your hobbies, friends, and goals. This keeps you grounded and prevents you from pouring all your energy into the new relationship.
- Communicate openly but sparingly. Share your feelings, but don’t overwhelm them with constant declarations of affection or future plans too soon.
- Pay attention to their cues. If they seem uncomfortable or pull back when you’re being very intense, take it as a signal to slow down and match their energy.
- Work on your self-esteem. Love bombing often comes from a place of insecurity or fear of rejection. Building confidence in yourself reduces the need to overcompensate with excessive affection.
- Give them space to miss you. Let them initiate contact sometimes, and don’t always be available. This creates a balanced dynamic and shows you respect their independence.
- Therapy or self-reflection. If you have a pattern of love bombing, it might stem from deeper issues like attachment style or past experiences. A therapist can help you unpack this and develop healthier relationship habits.
- Take it one date at a time. Don’t plan the wedding or imagine your future kids after the first few dates. Focus on enjoying the moment and getting to know them as a person.
- Ask yourself: “Would I be okay if this didn’t work out?” If the answer is no, you might be investing too much too soon. Remind yourself that a healthy relationship takes time and mutual effort.
- Match their energy. If they’re taking things slow, do the same. Mirroring their level of investment helps keep things balanced and prevents you from coming on too strong.
- One thing that helped me was setting a personal rule: no big gestures or deep emotional confessions for at least the first month. It forced me to slow down and really get to know the person first.
- I used to love bomb because I was scared they’d leave if I didn’t “prove” my worth. Therapy helped me realize I was enough without all that. Work on loving yourself first, and the rest falls into place.
- Try to notice when you’re overthinking their response or trying too hard to impress them. Take a deep breath and remind yourself you don’t need to “win” them—they’ll like you for you, or they won’t, and that’s okay.
- Don’t fill in the blanks about who they are. Love bombing can happen when you project your ideal partner onto them. Wait to see who they actually are before you go all-in.
Putting the brakes on love bombing starts with a few small, deliberate moves. Pick one or two tips—maybe defining your own limits or tuning into how you’re feeling—and try them out next time you’re connecting with someone. Little by little, these practices can reshape your approach to relationships, helping you form deeper, more balanced bonds.
Want to dive deeper into building healthy relationships? Explore our Relationship Advice section for more insights, or check out our guide on Self-Love and Confidence to strengthen your foundation.
Anshu Pathak is a passionate writer and avid reader whose love for stories shapes her world. With a heart full of imagination, she weaves tales that resonate with emotion and depth. When she’s not crafting her next piece, you can find her lost in the pages of a novel, exploring new worlds and perspectives. At Moodframe Space, Anshu shares her creative journey, offering insights, stories, and reflections that inspire and connect with readers everywhere.